Posts Tagged ‘CBS’

NBC’s Scheme – It Worked You Conniving Bastards!

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

For months now we have all heard all the rants and fuss over the imbeciles at NBC and their obvious over-the-top lack of mental cohesiveness and rather pitifully poor judgement, however boys and girls, the late night joke seems to be on us.

You see, I realize now that this whole late night shenanigan plot of hiring Conan, firing Conan, moving Jay, moving Jay back etc., was merely a brilliant marketing ploy by NBC. They had us dimwits all along.

The Undisputed King Of Late Night

Let me lay it on you straight from this homeboy who knows connivery when he sees it. The NBC execs aren’t the fools we thought they were. They outsmarted everyone.

Think about it…several months ago weren’t you sick and tired of Jay Leno (if you were even one of his admirers…)? I’ve ALWAYS been a David Letterman fan even when Johnny was still on. For the past few years I’ve stuck by Dave even through his apparent humor loss and the repeated same jokes night after night. Come on, I watched Dave ’cause he’d have something new and even more stupid every night. Now, you can almost predict who will be his guests any given week. I swear he only has a lineup of a couple dozen chosen ones that he’ll have on to “interview” (that is, rehash their old jokes together). A new joke on Monday will be retold all week long until the rerun week starts (which are repeats that just aired less than 60 days ago). Every year the holiday shows themselves are simply replays of previous years. I’m not so sure marriage was the right thing for Dave – he’s gone downhill ever since.

NOT the King Of Late Night

NOT the King Of Late Night

And Conan? Come on, now…He’s a walking, talking, nipple-tweaking human cartoon. A joke if you will – a very, very bad one. I’d rather watch reruns of Peewee’s Playhouse.

As for Jimmy Fallon, he was good at SNL but I don’t think he can handle hosting his own show, but I’ll give him a chance. First week- He Flopped.

So Jay and Conan or Dave and Craig?

NBC thought the same…Jay’s old hat but Dave and Craig are worse. How can we generate interest again and get the CBS audience who are frustrated with Dave and Craig?

Nipple-Tweaking Monkey

Nipple-Tweaking Monkey

Answer: CREATE A MEDIA CIRCUS! We’ll make this wild, off-the-wall decision to move Jay to prime time (which will generate a frenzy in itself – who won’t watch just to see what the hell is going on?) Play like we think Conan has what it takes to take over The Tonight Show (which is actually a brilliant guise to bag a reason to fire Conan – which will itself be another media circus – which in turn creates more viewers). THEN, move Jay back once the viewers are there and make The Tonight Show good again.

Fast Forward: OK, let’s see now, we got the CBS crowd, got rid of the dimwit red-headed monkey-boy and got people to watch Jimmy Fallon! While over at the Dave and Craig camp things are same ol’ same ol’ (I wouldn’t know, haven’t watched either since Jay came back, but I’ll take an educated guess).

Never thought I’d say it, but I am…”I’m in the Leno camp now…I’m sick of Dave.”

To you execs at NBC, kudos for making your well-played out scheme work albeit a very expensive and exhaustive one – to Dave: Might be high time to call it quits – to Craig: Consider divorcing Worldwide Pants – to Conan: Maybe Nickelodeon would be interested in an adult show of your mindless pap (um…maybe not) – and to Jay: Congrats! You ARE the King Of Late Night!

And to Jimmy: Good luck – enjoy it while it lasts.

┬ędbhewitt.2010.

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